A case of mistaken identity

Each week, a 'downdown' is awarded to hashers for 'misdemeanours' on the trail. These can be for many reasons: Failing to check the trail, falling A over T, clumsy parking of vehicle, complimentary DD's for guests or long-missing returning hashers, getting lost (a common occurrence) and a host of minor, true or completely fabricated stories ... get the picture? The vast majority are flimsy at best, but every now and then, there are tales of unmitigated stupidity which are so incredible that they must be true ... So, if you're sitting comfortably. I'll tell you a stawwry ...

Having taken a lift to the regroup in the back of Forrest's 4 X 4 and residing there for about 40 minutes, it transpired that the longs were going to be a very long time making the cider & fruit stop, so, not wishing to tarry further and needing to be at the bar rather urgently, the Supreme Pillock had decided to leg it back, up up the hill and down, down the other side to the Palk - about 10 minutes worth, Forrest had said.

Hindered by carrying 3 cams in a camera bag, the summit was duly conquered in fair old time AND, there was a ruddy great pile of spilled wheat by the side of the road ...

Enter stage right in his chariot came Snotrag, who espied the somewhat bizarre sight of Bluebird kneeling in the road, shovelling handfuls of wheat into his camera bag ... The Pillock waved frantically, trying to flag Snotrag down for a lift, but Snotrag merely smiled and waved and drove on ...

A few seconds later, after resuming his journey back to the pub, Bluebird looked back and espied a 4 X 4 emerging from the narrow track ... "Oh bu**er!" shouted Bluebird who knew that Forrest wouldn't give him a lift and that long run back up the hill had been for nought ...

Hurling his cap to the ground, he had then rolled around in the middle of the road, beating his fists theatrically on the ground ...

The 4 X 4 had slowly approached and it was then that the awful truth hit the madder than the maddest Hatter at a convention of Mad Hatters ... It WASN'T Forrest, but an identical 4 X 4 in virtually the same colour ... !! The driver slowly drew alongside and gave the Idiot the strangest look as he drove past ... OH CRINGE!

On relating the tale to Deep Semen, he confirmed that he'd seen the 4 X 4 go past ...

The 'scrabbling for wheat' would normally have been sufficient for a downdown, but the 'mistaken identity' confirmed it ...

Just prior to Bin Laden nominating, a boootiful pint of Gidley's Valley had been brought to Bluebird by Flip Flop - hence the 'proxy' deferring of the downdown ... sigh