("Who's that wally with the camera? Doesn't he know I've got exclusive filming rights?")
Saturday 3 May 2008
"Phew, I think this car's going to catch fire too, Bobby!"
The snapper 'snapped'
I've got some good news and some bad news.....the good news is that Cinderfella (now you'll know who to blame) has taken some pics for a welcome change.....the bad news is that he took them with me in them.....All: "Groan" ....we will attempt to soften the blow by surreptitiously slipping them in with other material - and hoping that you won't notice (much)......As part of the terms and conditions (which I had to sign on delivery) a Cindercaption (copyright Bluebird Innovations Inc.) is incorporated....the Mismanagement reserves the right to place an alternative bracketed caption where appropriate..
Message to Melanie.....
And some of us here in Torquay wish you Exeter lot a bit of luck on Monday to even up the undoubted bad luck you had Thursday evening in the first leg. And I'm really not being sarky, Melanie!
Friday 2 May 2008
Bluebird is a Tiredbird.....
...after a strenuous birthday celebration which commenced on Wednesday at 9 pm and finished about 20 minutes ago. Wearily, I turned the PC on to look at e-mails and found it virtually flooded with Cinderfella's pics from Monday.....he had e-mailed each pic separately! Of course, this meant I had to upload them all one by one....and curiously, they seemed to be in slightly different formats, or I'm still probably worse for wear. Anyway, thanks Kev and they will be incorporated bit by bit into a series called: 'The snapper snapped'....
Thursday 1 May 2008
My greatest moments...number 1...
.....Police Sports Torquay Rugby Ground 1970....Annual sports event, sponsored by Torbay Police Force....Bloody great grass pitch with 400 metre track laid out around it. The problem was that participating athletes were banned from warming up on any part of the ground or track, presumably to keep everything clear and uncluttered for the High Ranking Police Officers and invited dignitaries. To be fair, I honestly didn't know of this rule and stepped out into the centre of the grass infield to warm up for my 800 metres race. Immediately, a Senior Police Superintendent shouted: "Oi you, get off the grass!" Totally ignoring him, I casually continued jogging. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Super go red with rage and he shouted to nearby policemen: "Get him off!" About half a dozen of them ducked under the rope cordons and started to chase after me. It was absolutely futile, as I cantered away from them with ease. The crowd cottoned on to what was happening and started to cheer! The coppers soon gave up and left me to it. When the race was run, I came to the final straight and stopped to a walk to bow to the Police in the stand by the finish....the first prize was to be awarded by the Superintendent, but wisely, I got my girlfriend to collect it on my behalf...
My greatest moments...number 2....
Longchamp Hippodrome, Paris...June 15th 2000 The biggest 'coup' in my history of horse racing.... The horse? Slickly a son of Linamix out of Slipstream Queen by Conquistador Cielo (trust me, I'm an expert...) smooth travelling, classy and brash (reminds me of someone)....living in St Germaine I had taken the view that first time out was the best time to back Slickly and I travelled to the track with 140,000 francs to put on the beast..(£14.000) ..... on hearing: "Cent Quatorze mille francs pour gagner le numero un, s'il vous plait" the cashier had enquired: "Etes vous sur, monsieur?"
The stalls flew open and Slickly went straight into the lead. Watching through 12 X 50 binoculars (magnification as opposed to clarification) I knew immediately that nothing would get by my 'flying machine'. Ever the showman, I lowered the bins and turned to the crowd in the grandstand and screamed: "Arrete le, trop de sang!" (Pull him up, too much blood or I've seen enough)....Hard held, Slickly led from start to finish to win me a little over £13,000. I tipped the payout cashier 200 francs (£20) and he phoned for security to escort me from the course. Carrying £27,000 in cash I was escorted along the sous terrain (underground tunnel) to the exit and after giving the very nervous security man another 200 francs, I legged it to the tube....
I'm not sure I can take anymore....
....but a birthinday only comes but once a year 'Arry, so I will career onwards to certain oblivion...safe in the knowledge that I will erase all of this 'ere whenever I regain consciousness...
Regrets? I've 'ad a few 'Arry, but then again, too few too mention (sounds vaguely familiar, but what the 'eck) ....Before I slip beneath the PC console, I shall elucidate my three greatest moments in my momentous career....hic
It's my birthday and I feel totally justified in.....
....taking over the entire site for selfless gratification.....just got back from a blindin' evening at my newly reopened local...the Thatched Tavern.....I can confidently report that the new licencee (Alec) is now fully acquainted with the workings and idiosyncrasies (difficult to spell when you're p***ed) of the hash Harry. Remember when Pottsie had to be airlifted back to Dawlish when asked for £3.00 for a pint? No more, my sons, no more...we have (I have) negotiated a bumper bonanza beer tariff that will thrill you to your very souls ( yes souls. not soles)...must stop for a minute, duty calls....
Wednesday 30 April 2008
After hard negotiating and....
...four pints of Badger and two glasses of champagne, I think I can safely say that the Thatched Tavern is now back online as a hash friendly pub.....the sacrifice, the sacrifice.....
At great personal sacrifice.....
...I 'ave managed to broker a deal with the new licencees of the Thatched Tavern at Maidencombe.....
Videos
You will appreciate as this 'ere is the first week of video streaming, there are bound to be a few teething problems. Video clips thus far are raw feeds, totally unedited and therefore have obvious limitations. Some clips, by necessity, will have to be edited, particularly to take out certain 'swear words' which they contain. This is the case with the already 'famous' though as yet unscreened 'Moby Dick Canal Swim'......Migman makes a brilliant comment as Moby emerges from the water, but the 'f' word, though highly appropriate, has to be edited out! Your never ending patience is appreciated...
Tuesday 29 April 2008
The bow wave is massive....
....as a barely discernible figure begins to thrash through the water....
In an explosion of spray.....
...something very large hits the water....... and I am very afraid......
All is tranquil.....
...down by the riverside ....... but there's something lurking in the bullrushes....
You came back, a man like you.....
...Steve! When you didn't turn up Thursday, we started to worry.....
Mouldy's minders escort him back....
...to the ranch house (Swans Nest) after his epic swim across the canal. He's flanked by (l-r) : Migman, Wetfart and Rampant Rabbit. Head bowed, dripping wet, Mouldy refuses all interviews......
The brains behind the operation...
...from left: Flowery (whiz kid TVH3.org.uk) ...Winfield (okay Pottsie, I'll be straight over to fix your PC) and Rambo (CEO of Rambo Technologies Inc.)
There has been unprecedented interest....
...in the 'Mouldy River Crossing'......We are at present negotiating screening rights with You Tube....
It is to be hoped that this exclusive footage will, in time, find its way on to a TVH3 site......
30 video clips were taken...
...at The Swans Nest last night and you've seen just three! This is all new to me and you will, I hope, excuse the poor quality and appalling audio overlay. The clips take an awful long time to upload and process on to the site and I will have to get a new stock of beer in to keep me occupied while this is taking place. About 60 digital stills were taken as well, though theoretically, I have the capability (of making the world's first bionic man....) of extrapolating literally hundreds of 'stills' from the video footage. This will be attempted whilst I am working for a living (horse racing)......
As Tuesday and Wednesday seem to be the most popular for tuning in, I shall endeavour to upload as much as possible Tuesday.....
The video footage......
...is enormous. Suffice it to say that I am still in beta mode with video at present and am still trying to unravel the mystery of uploading data from each video burst.....as I said to Flowery, it's very much like a chimp driving a Ferrari......
Monday 28 April 2008
I'm here as promised with....
.... mind-boggling pics and video footage of tonight's run and pub entertainment from the Swans Nest.... come on, give me a break here, it's all a bit blurry here.....
We'll be back as soon as.....
...I get back from The Swans Nest tonight. Some pics will be posted between 11.15 pm and midnight (and a load more after you've gone to beddy bies ....hopefully....
Rambo Technologies Inc. ......
.....has (unwittingly) launched The Pillock into space via a MPEG4 codec converter vehicle...they might have (before knowing the enormity of their actions) wanted to take credit for this massive technological breakthrough.....but through a terse statement released from their main office, they have disavowed any transfer of technological protocol to any third party.......
Sunday 27 April 2008
PPPPPPPP* ...........
......proper Pillock planning perhaps prevents p**s poor performance....(8 - and that's the new record)
Never mind the date stamp......
view the image always at the top of the page......to save time endlessly reposting important info, the date stamp is advanced so the post will remain at position 1 on the page.....
Rampant Rabbit, Eager Beaver,
...Archangel and isn't the waitress a cracker.....why is it I always fancy the barmaid and waitress.....
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